Polyamory Wikipedia. Polyamory from Greekpoly, many, several, and Latinamor, love is the practice of or desire for intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the knowledge of all partners. It has been described as consensual, ethical, and responsible non monogamy. People who identify as polyamorous reject the view that sexual and relational exclusivity are necessary for deep, committed, long term loving relationships. Polyamorous arrangements are varied,78 reflecting the choices and philosophies of the individuals involved, but with recurring themes or values, such as love, intimacy, honesty, integrity, equality, communication, and commitment. Confusion arises when polyamory is misapplied in a broader sense, as an umbrella term for various forms of consensual non monogamous, multi partner relationships including polyamory, or consensual non exclusive sexual or romantic relationships. TerminologyeditThe word polyamorous first appeared in an article by Morning Glory Zell Ravenheart, A Bouquet of Lovers, published in May 1. Green Egg Magazine, as poly amorous. In May 1. 99. 2, Jennifer L. Wesp created the Usenetnewsgroupalt. Oxford English Dictionary cites the proposal to create that group as the first verified appearance of the word. The words polyamory, ous, and ist were added to the OED in 2. In 1. 99. 9, Zell Ravenheart was asked by the editor of the OED to provide a definition of the term, and had provided it as The practice, state or ability of having more than one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved. Polyamory is a less specific term than polygamy, the practice or condition of having more than one spouse. No single definition of polyamory has universal acceptancecitation needed. Although many individualswho would define polyamory as a relationship practice or form, somewho believe that it should be classified an orientation or identity like sexual orientation or gender identity. Most definitions of polyamory center on the concepts provided by Ravenhearts definition. Areas of difference arise regarding the degree of commitment, such as in the practice of casual sexual activities, and whether it represents a viewpoint or a relational status quo i. Polyamorous relationships can be open, where the relational partners agree to permit romantic or sexual relationships with other people, or closed, where those involved do not engage in relationships outside of the defined set of committed partners. The practice of engaging in closed polyamorous relationships is sometimes calledaccording to whomgroup marriage or polyfidelity. The terms primary or primary relationships and secondary or secondary relationships may be usedwhen to indicate a hierarchy of different relationships or the place of each relationship in a persons life. Thus, a person may refer to a live in partner as their primary partner, and a lover whom they only see once a week as their secondary partner, in order to differentiate to the listener who is whom. IYsu92I7Nd04IKtx9tCvg.jpeg' alt='Serial Monogamist Psychology' title='Serial Monogamist Psychology' />While such labels can be used as a tool to manage multiple relationshipsaccording to whom, somewho believe that such a hierarchy is unfair, that all the involved partners deserve equal standing and consideration. Another model, sometimes referredaccording to whom to as an intimate network, includes relationships that are of varying significance to the people involved, but are not explicitly labeled as primary or secondary. Within this model, a hierarchy may be fluid and vague, or nonexistent. There are many ways to explore and express intimacy in a nonmonogamous fashion. Somewho consider these polyamorous so long as those involved practice or at least aspire to high standards of loving ethically, honestly, openly, and respectfully. These may share the terminology that has evolved with modern nonmonogamous practices. Specifically, there are multiple variants on polyamory, such asoriginal researchintimate networks interconnected loving relationships, where an individual may have relationships of varying degrees of intimacy with multiple otherssolo polyamory an individual with no particular desire to join or create a household sometimes referred to as nesting with their intimate partnersthe so called geometric configurations for example,vee one person with two intimate partners who arent themselves sexually involvedtriad three people romantically involved, perhaps an established couple involved with an individualquad four individuals, often formed between two established couples. N possibly a couple who each have another partner, or two couples. There is a cultural divide between the polyamorous and swinger communities, the former emphasizing the emotional and egalitarian aspects of plural relationships and the latter emphasizing sexual non monogamy and emotional monogamy. A person with polyamorous relationships may also engage in swinging and other open relationships. As well, swingers occasionally develop deep emotional attachments with their sexual friends. Swingers and polyamorous people alike might engage in secret infidelities, though this is no more acceptable than in monogamy. Cultural diversityeditPolygamy generally refers to codified forms of multiple marriage especially those with a traditionalreligious basis, while polyamory implies a relationship defined by negotiation between its members, rather than by cultural norms. Polyamory is culturally rooted in such concepts as choice and individuality, rather than in religious traditions. Polyamory is closely associated with values, subcultures and ideologies that favor individual freedoms and equality in sexual matterscitation needed most notablycitation needed, those reflected by sexual freedom advocacy groups such as Woodhull Freedom Foundation Federation, National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and the American Civil Liberties Union. Polyamory and BDSMoftencitation needed face similar challenges e. Things You Never Knew About Kissing Did you know that kissing happens with two mouths JK, these facts are more interesting than that. Serial monogamy is a happy medium for many. Serial lovers get to explore these different components of their personalities with each relationship. Polyamory from Greek poly, many, several, and Latin amor, love is the practice of or desire for intimate relationships with more than one partner, with. ReligioneditThe Oneida Community in the 1. New York a Christian religious commune believed strongly in a system of free love known as complex marriage,1. Possessiveness and exclusive relationships were frowned upon. Some people consider themselves Christian and polyamorous, but mainstream Christianity does not accept polyamory. Kerista was a new religion that was started in New York City in 1. John Peltz Bro Jud Presmont throughout much of its history, Kerista was centered on the ideals of polyfidelity and creation of intentional communities. On August 2. 9, 2. Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood released a manifesto on human sexuality known as the Nashville Statement. The statement was signed by 1. Among other things, it states, We deny that God has designed marriage to be a homosexual, polygamous, or polyamorous relationship. Some Jews are polyamorous, but mainstream Judaism does not accept polyamory however, Sharon Kleinbaum, the senior rabbi at Congregation Beit Simchat Torah in New York, has said that polyamory is a choice that does not preclude a Jewishly observant and socially conscious life. Some polyamorous Jews also point to biblical patriarchs having multiple wives and concubines as evidence that polyamorous relationships can be sacred in Judaism. The Dangers of Counterdependency When You Never Need Anyone. What is counterdependency Codependency, the habit of gaining your self worth from pleasing others, is something most people know of nowadays. But its lesser known opposite, called counterdependency, can be just as much of a problem and is often related to codependency. In fact sometimes a person will switch from one extreme to the other in a relationship, becoming counterdependent after months or years of codependency. So what is counterdependency In many ways, its really a fancy word forfear of intimacy. Those who suffer counterdependency have a dread of ever depending on or needing anyone, at heart of which is an inability to trust. If there was a mantra that all counterdependents have, it would probably be I dont need anyone. The signs of counterdependency. Counterdependents can often come across as vibrant, life of the party sorts, or be the kind who have many friends and relationships. The difference is that those relationships will not be deep and trusting, and might not last. So one of the main signs of counterdependency is an inability to have connected and authentic relationships. This involves seeming good at relating but then having a point or wall where it stopsfeeling trapped in relationshipspushing people away or going cold without warningfear of abandonment or rejection so abandon or reject firstmight have one short relationship after anothertendency to date needy over givers codependentsmight have different personalities for different people to avoid being seenare always busy might even overwork or have too many hobbies to avoid intimacyanxiety and fear arising if relationships get too deepcan make all touch into something sexual to avoid emotional things like tendernessmight date people they arent a good match with so they dont fall in love and keep people they are good match with as only friendsinstead of asking for support in relationship prone to complaining and sulking. Because a counterdependent seeks to avoid anyone getting close enough they are tempted to depend on them, communication becomes tempered by lack of trust, which manifests as walk away from or avoid conflict, or need to be rightdont trust others motives but instead often second guess peoplea constant sense that others always let them downrarely ask others for help. Then there is the inner world of a counterdependent. With a childhood that often left them to fend for themselves emotional see causes, below a counterdependent can have a tumultuous mind, including being oversensitive to criticism of others even as they often criticiseoften hard on themselves, hate making mistakessuffer an inner soundtrack of intense self criticismdont relax easilycan experience shame if they feel needysee vulnerability as weaknesssecretly suffer feelings of loneliness and emptinessmight have difficulty remembering childhood. Related mental health conditions to counterdependency. Why is counterdependency such a big deal First of all, it can cause intense if often well hidden feelings of loneliness. This can often spiral into depressionand anxiety. If it isnt the loneliness that causes severe low moods, its often the hidden low self esteem that counterdependents suffer from, which is one of the leading pathways to major depressive episodes. There is also the possibility of developing grandiosity or even narcissistic personality disorder. Serial Monogamist Psychology' title='Serial Monogamist Psychology' />Search metadata Search full text of books Search TV captions Search archived web sites Advanced Search. Here are 5 statements to avoid while hanging out with friends who dont have kids. Monogamy m n m i mNOGmee is a form of relationship in which an individual has only one partner during their lifetime or at any one time. Clinging to the notion that you dont need others or that others are not good enough to understand you can mean you develop an inflated sense of being superior, which taken too far can mean you lose empathy for others entirely. What do counterdependent people think What do the thoughts of a counterdependent sound like, then The below are the sorts of thinking counterdependency produces I dont need anyone. Dont let them too close theyll just disappoint you. Id rather be successful than have a relationship anyway. Love is overrated, I dont need it. People just take take take and leave me drained, its not worth it. Im too good for himher anyway. Dont let your guard down, or theyll just hurt you. Heshe could never handle me. Nobody can understand me, they arent smart enough. The connection between codependency and counterdependency. A codependent appears to be the opposite of a counterdependent person. They believe that they need anothers attention to have any self worth, and tend to manipulate by their smothering attentions to their partner. Although it might sound like the last person a counterdependent would choose to be involved with, its actually a very common match. A counterdependent person will initially be attracted to the codependents apparent show of understanding and warmth. Why are codependents and counterdependents so often in relationships together Because underneath a counterdependent persons belief they dont need anyone ais a deep desire to finally be able to let their guard down and fully trust and love another. Because codependency and counterdependency both revolve around needing others, whether that is wanting or avoiding, its not uncommon for partners in a dependency based relationship to switch roles. A common example is when after years of constantly seeking out and desperately needing anothers attentions, a codependent finally gains the courage to step away and stand on their own to feet. Not used to such a move, a codependent often overdoes it and goes cold on the other person or shuts them out, acting like a counterdependent. Editor Savegame Resident Evil 4. This often see the other person who usually is emotionally aloof counterdependent suddenly panicking to lose all the attention they are used to and becoming needy codependent. This push pull dance can go back and forth indefinitely. Why am I counterdependent Counterdependency often develops as an adult from the result of happenings in your childhood. This could be childhood trauma. Something might have happened that instilled a belief in you that others cant be trusted, and that it is dangerous to need them. This might have been a parent leaving, a person close to you dying, abuse, or a tragedy befalling your family. But counterdepedency could also arise from the kind of parenting you received from your main caregiver during the beginnings of your childhood. Called attachment, the connection a child forms with this caregiver the first few months and years of life is very important, determining how they will relate to the world and others in the future. Attachment theory sees a healthy attachment, where parents are sensitive to the needs of their child, meaning that the child is likely to grow up able to manage their emotion, be confident in themselves, and handle relationships well. But your parental figure was not emotionally available, was unreliable or unresponsive to your needs, pushed you to be more independent than a child should have to be, or even was dangerous to you, subjecting you to emotional or physical abuse, then you will develop what is known as avoidant attachment or anxious attachment style. Even though a child should be able to need a parental figure, a child in such a situation will suppress his or her reliance on the caregiver and not turn to the parent when upset, suffering, or needing comfort. In other words, you decide at a very young age that it is too dangerous to trust your caregiver, and work to not attach to them.